Intentions intentions, the best of intentions...

Training - as it were - is OVAH! But not really. My trips to Peoria are done, for now. I have another 2 inch stack of homework to complete. These now focus a bit more on immediate family and parenting techniques and styles. I'm sure "She's a great kid, we couldn't have been luckier" will not cut it for an answer.

In training yesterday, our discussion started out by talking about intentions. What is the reason we've gone this route. I seem to have fallen in a trap of watching these movies and clips and becoming quite judgmental with these people. I mean, really, you did a foreign adoption so the pastor in your church would tell everyone you're the definition of love? Really? I know that's not what the parent meant, that's not what happened. But I had a hard time not seeing it that way. Don't break your arm patting yourself on the back! Then, I turned that sarcasm inward and asked myself why am I doing this. I can't deny that so far, without exception, everyone who has heard we're doing this has had that "great job" reaction. Even better are the ones who acknowledge that they themselves couldn't do it, especially with the population that these children will be coming from (already in foster care). But while the praise is nice, I really don't want it. Both hubby and I agreed, this is not about us, this is about the child.

Ok, so I need to slow down and rethink this. Our reason: we (as a family and individuals) are very blessed in this life with an abundance. Some of it tangible, but a lot of it is intangible. We feel we have a lot of love, guidance, safety and sanity to provide for a child who needs it. Both of us have come from a background where some of those things didn't exist or it was only a reward for good behavior. We want to do better than that. If, after a child comes into our home, no one makes another comment about how great that is and just treats the child like they do our bio-kid, we'd be happy with that. In fact, I think we'd be a bit put off by any attention. It's what will be best for the child.

So, there. I still sound like a sanctimonious prig, don't I?

We are now 1 step closer to being approved for placement. Left to do: this week's homework, complete request for references, find a house to rent, make decisions about what we could and could not handle in a child, get ready for family interview. The chocolate intake has eased up a bit.